Sunflower Mom on a Mission

Kim is the official "Spokesmom" for Just For Me(tm) Texture Softener(tm), the brand new breakthrough in hair care for girls of mixed heritage! Her daughter, is featured on the hair care system package, and you may have even seen her on Barney! Kim's blog will contain her thoughts on being a mom in a multi-ethnic family, health and beauty and self-image and self esteem. And for fun, she will interact with other moms who have "hair care chronicles and horror stories."

Friday, August 11, 2006

"Mean Girls and Guys"

Hello!! I am sure you will be glad to know that I survived my first week back at school!! What a busy week it was. I am glad to finally get back into a routine schedule. The kids seem to like their new schools and their teachers as well, so that is a good sign!! :) I pray that we all have a smooth year!!

As I stated in my last blog, I would like to share with you some of our personal experiences that we have faced being a family of mixed heritage. It first goes way back to when my husband and I were first dating. At the time, I didn't really think about what others would say or think about me dating a man of a different race. I was concerned, however, with what my family would think. I wasn't quite sure how they would react. I am not going to lie...it was extremely difficult at first. It also didn't help that it was at the exact time of the OJ Simpson scandal!! But in the end, they accepted my decision and felt that my happiness was the most important thing! It is sooo nice to have a supporting and loving family! I honestly do not know how I could survive without them!! Too bad everyone else is not that supportive! Let me explain...I traveled to Florida to visit Tim (my husband). He was there for spring training for baseball and I was on spring break at school so I went for a visit. On one of his days off, we decided to go to a local flea market and shop around. Well, while we were walking around, a man from a booth about 20 feet away shouted, "Hey OJ!! Why don't you and the lady come on over and get your picture taken?" (He had a booth that you could get your picture taken with exotic birds) I couldn't believe my ears!!! Did he actually say what I thought he said??? Needless to say, my husband was furious!! He immediately started over towards him to set him straight! I grabbed him and told him that he was definitely not worth getting into trouble over. The nerve of a total stranger to say that. Right then, I knew, that people were not as accepting as I thought they would be. We of course always get the occasional stares and glares from the "older generation" but what happened in Florida was by far was the worst that I had ever experienced!

As far as my son goes, I don't think that he has ever had to deal with this situation. My daughter, on the other hand has been through more than I would ever have wanted her to experience. It all seems to take place at school. For example, one day she got into the car after school and I could tell that she was upset. I asked her what was wrong...but she didn't want to talk about it. Finally, I got her to tell me what had happened. First, you need to know that she had just transfered to this school and she was in the 2nd grade. Well, while she was in PE, she was walking around the gym with a little girl that she had met. They were talking and walking and having a great time...until this little boy came up behind them and told the little girl not to talk to that "African American" with her frizzy hair. Can you believe...a 2nd grader said that!! They both just ignored him but it absolutely crushed my daughter. She didn't want to go back to that school ever again. Personally, I didn't want her to either! It took everything in me not to "go off" but I knew that this was the time to take advantage of a learning situation. How dare that little boy say that to my daughter, how dare that man in Florida say that to my husband and I!! I felt so sorry for my baby. I told her that she did the right thing by ignoring him. I did, however, tell her that if he ever said anything like that to her again, to tell him, "No...I am just a girl!!!" And to also go and tell the teacher. We talked about how everyone is different and that God made everyone the way he wanted them. How boring it would be if we were all the same! Kids have also asked her questions about having a "white mom" and a "black dad", or "Is that your mom, because you do not look alike"? It is hard for her to understand because she just see's me as "mom" and her dad as "dad". We are not colors to her. I often wondered about how she would be treated growing up being a kid of a mixed race. I would always watch the television specials about how tough it was for kids of a mixed heritage to grow up in our society. They would always get teased or be confused about who they were. Are they black, are they white? I did not want that for my child. My husband and I try our best to teach our children strong morals and values. We want them to understand that we all have different values and beliefs and we need to respect that. I honestly think that our children, because they are of a mixed heritage, will be stronger and more considerate of others when it comes to being different. We are just a normal family trying to raise our children to be the best that they can be!! Luckily, we have a very strong support group...OUR FAMILY AND OUR FRIENDS!!!!

Until next time...
"Sunflower Mom"

5 Comments:

At 12:34 PM, Blogger Elle said...

Nice post! Keep up the good work. More people should be aware of what multi-ethnic families face. You're doing a good thing.

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger Kim said...

Thank you for the support!! :)

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Princess Leia said...

Hey Kim, you've got a really pretty daughter there. =)) Think she looks great with the straightened hair too. =)) My heart goes out to you and your family who have to endure such racist attitudes of others. Hang in there and always remember, God is behind all of you. God bless.

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger Kim said...

Princess Leia, Thank you for your kind comments and your words of encouragement! It is nice to know that there are people out there who care!

God bless you and yours as well!!
"Sunflower Mom"

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger daniel said...

my heart broke when i read this goodonya sunflower mum keep on raising ur kids with good moral values and teaching them that they are beautiful and special and encourage them to follow their hearts of course the best teacher is jesus and we all must follow him if we want to go to heaven im sure that you and your husband are doing the best you can to raise your kids i feel sorry for your kids having to face racism at school and prejudice from kids their own age you would think that in the age of innocence kids would be more open minded but i guess they are influenced by their parents so its good that your kids are influenced in a positive way to see themselves as boys and girls your kids are the best bits of both of you they are black and white they are sons and daughters of god they must be treated with love and respect i hope that your boy and girl have a trouble free existence and do not encounter any more racism at school my heart goes out to you guys im sorry that you have to experience this maybe your girl would enjoy the comic boondocks whichs talks about the experience of an african american boy named huey his best friend is a mixed race girl who has a white mother and a black father god bless you heaps love daniel smile jesus loves you :)peace out

 

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