Sunflower Mom on a Mission

Kim is the official "Spokesmom" for Just For Me(tm) Texture Softener(tm), the brand new breakthrough in hair care for girls of mixed heritage! Her daughter, is featured on the hair care system package, and you may have even seen her on Barney! Kim's blog will contain her thoughts on being a mom in a multi-ethnic family, health and beauty and self-image and self esteem. And for fun, she will interact with other moms who have "hair care chronicles and horror stories."

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

"Are You Her Mother???"

This past weekend I held a cheerleading camp at my gym for a local youth organization. My daughter was up there with me to help out with the little girls. After the camp was over, my daughter was yelling for me to show me something. When I went to her, one of the campsters (she was probably 6) came up to me and asked if she was my daughter. She seemed shocked when I said, "yes". She said, "But you don't look alike". I told her that she looked more like her daddy. She said, "he must be dark, what does he look like?" " I told her that he was a tall dark man. She looked at me and said, "he must be really dark! I told her she was right!! He is very dark!! I am sure that she didn't know that he was African American. What do you say to a 6 year old? So I just kind of left it at that.
My daughter didn't hear any of this conversation. I wonder what she would have thought about it? I wonder how she would have responded to her questions?
I have even had adults ask if she was my daughter. It gets frustrating sometimes!! I carried her for nine months, went through the sleepless nights...YES...she is my daughter! I don't feel that I should have to explain why she is darker than me or tell them that I am married to her father who is African American. Who knows...they probably think that I adopted her!!
PS...I was reading this to my daughter...she wanted to know what I was writing about. When she heard the last sentence, she made the comment, "that was mean". I asked what was mean? She responded, that those people probably think that I am adopted. I think I hurt her feelings. :(

Until Next Time...
"Sunflower Mom"

6 Comments:

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Ici said...

I know how you feel. I get those comments and me and my husband are both AF/AM. He's had mixed blood and doesn't really look black and my daughter looks alot like him. I'm darker that the two of them and when we're together, my daughter and I, we get the looks and she's 7. I would have never thought that I would get the looks, but I do. It's not just for mixed races families. All black families whose children look different get those same comments. It's sad and mean (I agree with your daughter) but I guess it's a part of life.

 
At 8:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello and good evening. My husband and I have been married for 12 year and we have 4 bi-racial children together. My husband is African-American and I am of European heritage. We live in the "South", Jacksonville Florida. Needless to say, the "Southern " community continues to have issues with race relations. I receive the same comments list above all the time....Is she yours?, Is she adopted, She is just beautiful, whose child is she?

The difference in the South is when you say the child is yours, other comments are made such as, are you married to a black man? The Southerners both Black and White seem to have problems with mixed marriages.

I pray that the world will one day change, until then all we can do is unite in support for one another.

Many blessing to everyone reading this site.

missnurse_1@yahoo.com

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello and good evening. My husband and I have been married for 12 year and we have 4 bi-racial children together. My husband is African-American and I am of European heritage. We live in the "South", Jacksonville Florida. Needless to say, the "Southern " community continues to have issues with race relations. I receive the same comments list above all the time....Is she yours?, Is she adopted, She is just beautiful, whose child is she?

The difference in the South is when you say the child is yours, other comments are made such as, are you married to a black man? The Southerners both Black and White seem to have problems with mixed marriages.

I pray that the world will one day change, until then all we can do is unite in support for one another.

Many blessing to everyone reading this site.

missnurse_1@yahoo.com

 
At 8:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is funny, because when I saw the pictures I thought your daughter looks just like you. I think people cannot see past skin color and hair texture and do not look at physical features. That is really sad.

Black people in North America, Latin America, Africa, Europe, etc. understand the variety of looks Black people can have, but to non-Blacks for some reason it is mind-boggling because they think there is one Black look. Genetics are fascinating.

 
At 8:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sunflower mom,

My hair is previously relaxed so I only applied the texture softener to the new growth. Then I roller set it so it would blend in with my relaxed hair. So the next time I washed my hair the texture softend roots still looked strait. My question is does it take a few washes to see the difference or was roller setting it right after I got the texture softener done a bad idea?

I'm afro-carribean (just in case it matters)

 
At 4:55 AM, Anonymous Karin said...

Anonymous at 8:07 AM, you would be surprised how many times I have been asked which one of my parents is white ... by Blacks in the United States. (Whites never asked me this question and I lived on the West Coast and in the South Eastern part of the US.) I am light-skinned and both my parents are South American Blacks with dark skin but there are white ancestors on both sides. It appears not even North American Blacks understand the color range in our race.
Incidentally, I used this product on my 11-year-old daughter whose dad was Afro-American. When her hair was still wet it looked nice and it was easier to handle. But, there was very little visible difference once it began to dry. Will the results improve as the product is used more often?

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home